Let me start by saying that when I think of all the privilege and blessings that I have in my life, I actually feel pretty guilty complaining about anything.
That said, I've been feeling pretty crappy lately. I've dealt with depression in one form or another for most of my life, but it's not been an issue for me for several years now.
Back in March of this year I completed my five years taking Tamoxifen (post breast cancer medication) and since going off it have been caught in a hormonal nightmare; everything from hot flushes, racing heart beat, insomnia and "fuzzy brain" to mood swings and depression. It looks and feels like menopause, but I'm not menopausal and it's like my body is desperately trying to re-balance itself after five years of medical hormone suppression.
Of course, when I asked my surgeon (who, let's be clear, has my eternal gratitude and admiration for saving my life) about possible side effects associated with stopping Tamoxifen 'cold-turkey', he told me there would be no problems with it apart from possibly a little 'anxiety'.
It's a frustrating situation to be in. As most of the physical symptoms have now passed or are passing, I'm hopeful that this black cloud too will lift. Work is definitely helping. I've cut back all of my extraneous activities (including my beloved zoo work) to focus solely on my artwork, which was in danger of being crowded out entirely by everything else that's been going on.
And so to Burdy.....my melancholy blackbird of sorts. I was especially pleased with the shadows in these photos...I like the way they loom....it's very much how I've been feeling, trying to 'take off' with a black shadow hanging over my head. He's been constructed in my usual manner and his costume is black felt with pearl beads and silk thread. His wings are individually hand cut and wired 'feathers' made from stiffened and painted cotton. His stand is also hand-painted.
At the moment I'm working on a new piece to be sent over to the UK for an exhibition in October. The exhibition has a Nursery Rhyme theme, so I'm pretty excited....but more of that later.
I want to thank all of my friends who read this (far too infrequent, despite my best efforts) blog and who keep in touch via Facebook and e-mail, for your concern and support over the past few months.....I really do appreciate it so much, it's always amazing to me how many of us share similar experiences under different circumstances. Much love to all of you.
Till next time.